Just say it

"So many faces in and out of my life
Some will last, some will just be now and then
Life is a series of hello's and goodbye's
I'm afraid it's time for goodbye again"

OK, yes, I just quoted Billy Joel, which may not be the coolest thing in the world to do, but it was appropriate.

Last week, the place I work had to lay off a number of people. Yeah, I know -- join the club. In these dismal economic times, pretty much everyone has had to endure some sort of pain associated with layoffs. It might be your husband or wife, your significant other, a friend, whatever. What figure did the President use last night? Something like 3.5 million jobs gone in 2008? Chances are, whoever you are, you got hit somehow.

It’s never easy. Obviously it’s hardest on the people who lose their jobs. But it’s also painful for those left behind. Hopefully, you’re lucky enough to work in a place where the people you work beside every day are more than just colleagues – they’re friends. They’re people you care about. And when it happens, you go through a grieving process. You feel sad, lonely. Maybe you feel guilt that you got spared. You feel frightened that you could be next. And maybe, like me, you wallow in all of it for days – angry at everyone and everything. But eventually you come to the day when you have to pick yourself back up and move on.

So that’s where I am today. And layoffs aren’t really what I want to talk about anyway. What this whole experience has brought me to is the fact that people move in and out of your life all the time. Sometimes it’s by design, other times it’s just happenstance. But rest assured, there’s someone who plays a big part in your life today who isn’t going to be there at some point in the future.

Yeah, depressing. But my completely self-indulgent advice (and isn’t that the wonderful part about blogs – they ARE completely self-indulgent platforms for you to spout off whatever you feel like) is that because this is an absolute truth, there’s something you’ve got to do about it. And that’s tell the people that you care about the way that you feel about them. If you’ve got something to say, don’t just carry it around inside you. Talk to them, call them on the phone, write them a letter, send them an e-mail. But say it, because when they’re gone, carrying it inside is a death sentence. It’ll tear you up. It may not be easy to do for a whole host of reasons, but do it. It’ll free you. And it’ll make it easier to face whatever comes next.

And then get on with it. Or in the words of the immortal Jimmy Buffett:

"Yesterday's over my shoulder
But I can't look back for too long
There's just too much to see
Waiting in front of me
And I know that I just can't go wrong"